fallout.

You know that feeling when you’re sure you’re going to fail but then things sem to brighten up for you and you go, “I can do this, man, I frickin CAN,” but then everything, every hopes and dreams you hold just come out all wrong in the end?

Yeah, that’s what made this week’s end pretty crummy.

It’d been midterms for the last 6 days (yes, SIX, monday through saturday because they figured we could use a real day off instead of eating up schooldays stock) and I had this feeling in my guts that I wasn’t going to fail, not even a bit. I started taking more time studying than usual (because I’ve always been a laxy bum and that just needs to change) and I’ve spent hours doing homeworks earlier than my classmates and just drop my internet time. Which worked, sorta, because I didn’t find that much trouble handling the questions, only some subs that I thought was not worth going for (LOL). That went until late Saturday morning, after we finished maths and hermetics. I was heading back to our dorm, when some guy caught up to me saying, “Scores are out!” and I was like,

so I bolted back and there it was; an 8 feet tall wheeled tackboard with score sheets pinned to its surface. One glance and I knew, “This is is, mate, proofing ground.” So I steeped into the riot surrounding the tackboard, looked for my name, and went numb.

I flunked Astronomy (70), Cyrptozoology (67,5), and Theriantrophical Science (54).

Okay, so I didn’t put that much attention to TS, but ASTRONOMY?? I practically fudgin MURDERED myself studying that, completely depriving sleep for two days in a row. And Crypto./ It was easy. Not that I took it for granted, but it gave me no particular problem during the test. It was smooth as silk. The 90s and 80s I got were in Latin and Literature, Cryptography. Which sucked, beacuse I took those for granted, literally put them aside wilst I tried to ace the main subs. It just, I dunno, I felt like a failure. I felt like all the effort I put into school just didn’t result in anything meaningful. And that hurt, because I’m an optimist, and knowing that looking on the brightside and just try doesn’t do it anymore just punches me in the face. I’ve always wanted to get my junior high academic glory back (I was an A student – no kidding) and I put targets before myself – ones which I mostly didn’t work through, and that makes me feel pretty lame. It gives me the idea that my grades need to pay for my recuperating social life. This just sucks rhino dicks, man, you have no idea. You ever seen that graph thing on tumblr, where it says you oughtta pick one, and only one, between good grades, social life, and enough sleep? They didn’t even give me the ‘enough sleep’ option, which didn’t really make things any better. On the outside I was like, , but in the inside I was like,
Bummer.

Okay, so. To make it up to you guys for being such an emotional tween prick, I will present to you an immensley boring story abou a heroic attempt to pull a frickin whale of a car out of the mess of its own jerkass of an engine.

This extremely lame tale begins with a wild night downtown in Oban with the gang – Irith, James, Ty, the badass twins from the North, and Madden and a bunch of his 12th grade friends. We’d just been back from hangin out with some weres in Ben Nevis, and we were driving back in two cars: one in which there was me, James, Irith, Ty, and Hakon; and the other, a Rav4, that consists of the rest of the gang (Heith was there because she got herself a twelfth grade fling). So were drivin Mad Max style when suddeny the Rav broke down. It just stopped, right there, in the middle of the road, and us in james’ car were all, “Shit.” So we pulled over, with all sorts of rides honking at Ferit’s car. I was asleep in the back seat and I woke up staring absent-mindedly into a deserted gas station while there were guys messing with a tow rope. So I got out and asked some stuff and they said they couldn’t get to the police and they couldn’t get any signal so they had one guy to go inside the gas station’s convenience store and buy a tow rope – you know that kind with the steel core and the garden-hose-plastic outer skin? So they hooked one end to James’ car’s back engine and the other to the radiator cage on the front or whatever you call it, and we towed the car all over to the school ferry dock near Calmac. The rope was basically betraying all the way. The hook escaped from the radiator cage, and me and James had to hook it back while a friend of Madden’s lifted the car a little bit because the rope got caught under the front wheel. Then sometime later the rope got caught under the same wheel. Tyler helped Hakon and some guys hoot over an insane driver who’d been hollering at us kids for being ‘impossibly irresponsible pricks with no education of the automotives whatsoever’. Then it got cuaght again, this time we decided to just rip the rubber off, wehich we did, and that helped because after that we got i to the dock with no further delays, although both cars and their passengers experienced vilent turbulence exerted by the tension pulling the engine and the radiator cage. We were towing a basically dead vehicle. It was like Free Ravi instead of Free Willy.

And so we got back to FHS at 12 pm, but I already slept in the car almost 4 hours (S. Zahra Mustardface body only needs 4 hours of optimal sleep to metabolize – it’s in the family) so I was all bright and grinning by the time the opthers had already crashed. Irith wasn’t sleepy either, so we decided to just watch some movies on my laptop. I told her about The Outsiders, and now she’s obsessing over Dally and Soda.

I guess this week didn’t end all that crummily after all.

Sophomore Year week 1. I’M A TOTAL FRICKIN ROCKSTAR FROM MARS.

HAAAAIIIII GUUUUYYYZZZZ.

Dude, srsly, I MISSED this place. Summer took away all my bloggin time and I haven’t even written anything for the past 3 weeks. I feel really artistically unproductive these days, I don’t even know why.

So, sophomore year. Dear God, time does fly. It felt like an hour ago when I was like, “SHIT HIGH SCHOOL” and now I’m like, “LOL FRESHMEN.”

I don’t feel sixteen, though. I turned sixteen last June, and a few days before I joked with my mom and I said, “Yo bunda when I turn 16 could you buy me a ride?” and she said, “You got it.” Well, my sister reckoned it was real and she started yapping about how come I was getting my own wheels on my sixteenth birthday like those creeper chicks on MTV. But no, really, I DO NOT feel 16 at all. I’m not too sure why this matters a lot to me, but I dunno, I just can’t put my finger on the case. It’s like you’re served with a huge plate of the world’s finest lobster – still purple and steaming and all – but you have no idea what to do with it.

Honestly, I have no idea why people get so excited about turning 16. It doesn’t really make that big of a change.

Well, my dad did tell me this thing about my being a part of this generation called the iY (it’s pronounced eye-why) generation – kids who are born after 1990. Translation: dudes my age. And my dad said that this generation matured a little slowly. It’s got nothing to do with retardation or anything, it’s just that he said that these kids (including me) tended to act childishly. Maybe he got the idea of googling it up because I’ve said to him a few times that I felt like I wasn’t supposed to be as old as I was now. Dear God, dad, you just have to absorb and digest every single thing I say, don’t you?

Anyways.

SOPHOMORE.

Day 1 started off a little dimmer than expected. I was going for hugging everyone and all that, but turned out Irith had chickenpox (her first) and she’s still over in her hometown somewhere in Greece right now, which leaves me alone in our room, Ty was in a bad mood because she had her trip cut off by the sped-up start of the term (she was in Alaska-I felt for her), someone told me Aibara’s gonna spend the next year with us AGAIN (no, seriously, I hate that guy), James’s…well…James, and I was still really sleepy when I realized that all the good looking guys had all graduated. But it was fun though, we got to pick subjects instead of having all of them dumped shamelessly onto our laps without prior notice nor our approval. Here are my picks:

1. Alchemy.
2. Cryptography.
3. Latin
4. Ancient Civilizations (this sub PWNS)
5. Art and Art History
6. Astronomy
7. Cryptozoology
8. Weaponry
9. Literature
10. Mathematics (this is one of those ‘take it or die’ subs)
11. PE
12. Hermetic Science
13. Theriantrophical Ethics
14. World Myths and Legends.

I didn’t take up Necro because the teacher reckoned I wouldn’t pull through so they didn’t put that on my availability list when my mom went to my school to get my report card.

That time I was sitting on my compy, begging to God to let me get into sophomnore year. I was tweeting tupid stuff. Stuff about Young Guns. Flatliner, which is possibily one of the awesomest movies ever. And Kiefer Sutherland. Because he’s adorable.

Day 2 was a little better at first, but then I began shutting myself away for no apparent reason like I used to do back the days, and everyone had no interest in making me talk so I ended up slithering wherever I could stomp my feet on doing nothing. It was pathetic.

Day 3 was pretty good. The Realmers held a meeting and we talked about the school’s extracurricular expo on Friday, and we were assigned to our posts. I got the job of guarding the stand. So I did. Sort of. Someone was supposed to be signalling my friend whop was in a pentacle but the dude didn’t show u so I got the job of doing the signalling. I did that and I ended up looking like a jiggydancer. My friend came out alive though, but the freshmen didn’t take it as something fun, and we were PISSED.

The next three days came out alright. School began to conduct serious teaching (translation: actual classes), someone nearly throwed up when a classmate of mine actually cut his finger off during weaponry, and the school boards applied a new policy for flyers: “Limited aerial activities inside protection dome only.” Apparently the school put up this thing they call protection dome which is kind of like a force field created by magic. I guess they got that idea from either JK Rowling or Stephen King.

And there are new kids in my class; twins named Hakon and Heith (Hakon’s got this condition, as I have heard-he’s got two personalities, the other one which is a 9th century Viking warrior overtakes the real Hakon and changes him into a vandalistic, winethirsty maniac with ACTUAL SHIELDS AND A SWORD AND HELMET that come up outta nowhere; Heith, on the other ahnds, shares her body with some Nordic godess or something), and a young sorcerer from Texas (they don’t have that many sorcerers in the US so I gathered his parents were overwhelemd and were obnoxiously proud of him-6 hours after new term ceremony and a dude told me he got an ‘I Love You baby’ email from his ma) named Julius Banks. This year’s gonna be a pretty interesting one, I can tell you that.

DEAR GOD HARRY POTTER’S COMING TO AN END.

This movie, with all its beauty and deep philosophies and intriguing mysteries, has captured my heart since I was 6 years old. Growing up with the series, I never thought I was one of, ya know, them. Those people, my kind, who has the actual ability to do unimaginable things, extraordinary things. Harry Potter made me belief that I wasn’t the only one. He made me realize I wasn’t, and will never be, alone.

Simply put, most of the current me was shaped and forged its magic. Wow, we had a lovely childhood, didn’t we?

I’m not that sad that it’s going to end. My only regret is that I’m never going to go to some epic spasm before and after ordering a Harry Potter book at a local bookstore.

This year I made a pact that I’d be the best that I could ever be. I’m gonna fly better and higher, get great scores so my trash bin won’t be filled by scratched up test papers, I’m gonna get that place in The Falcon Hills Realmers Community. FHRC’s basically a community of nutjobs who are sick and tired of earth that we commence in voyaging over to other worlds. Kind of like trips across planets or realms or ley gates actually, which are real fun- and gravely dangerous.

Dang.

I’m alone.

You know how it feels olike beign alone?

it’s like you wanna talk but you’ve got nothing to talk to about. Hell ye ain’t even got no one to talk to. It’s excruciating. I’m going to explode.

I might wanna stop now because for some reason I feel like a sucker right now and the way I’m writing this doesn’t come to my appealing. I’m going over to the main common room and watch some movies with some dudes in ten minutes, then I’m going to start on Sons of Anarchy’s pilot episode, see if I’ll like the series.

Okay bye.

EDIT

Every fragment of this video beats everything I’ve seen and experienced this year.

Another thing I would like to point out is that Kiefer Sutherland has earned his place in my ever growing list of the mos adorable and hug-worthy men of all time, right next to Sam Worthington and Garrett Hedlund and The Winchester Bros.

how it is right now: mid 2nd semester edition.

I think I’m developing some kind of a syndrome. It’s like everytime I’m bored I’d ‘write’ things in my head but when I quickly open some app to to write that thing properly, it just disappears. Not instantly, though, gradually. But still. Also, longass loading time doesn’t do me much justice -_-

So… it’s already past lights out, Irith’s snoring had stopped a week ago which is a miracle for all of us, and I’m refusing to sleep because starting tomorrow until next Wednesday I was supposed to be on a holiday but considering the large amount of students with bad scores at certain subjects, the teachers decided to carry out what they call ‘clinics.’ They’re some sort of enrichment classes I think. I’m listed in Necromancy and Maths.

Why. Why, I mean, why am I never good at those two? My Necro scores have never reached more than 70. I can still cope with math, but necro?

It’s brainspinning. I guess resurrecting dead dudes just ain’t my thing. But it tends to get cool a certain points.

So now I’m taking extra classes on those two, while this jackass in my class, Vassano’s the name, can have a week of total freedom because his scores are never below 80. Not to mention a lit assignment and a few homework and projects I need to finish. Oh, and the Dean Koontz novel my mom sent me. She just knows how to cheer me up.

WHY DEAR GOD WHY.

Okay now Irith’s getting pissed.

I’m off.

Februa-weee…

Ya know it’s okay for you guys to just ignore the post you see below. It just popped outta nowehere somewhere in my dream, so yeah.

So… February. I’ve started taking math lessons because my grades are steadily declining, my energy has been continuously pumped out becuase I’m in this explorers club. Ya know, that club where you get to hang out with expeditionists and geologists and go to caves or climb rocks and hike up the Everest and stuff. It sounded like an adventure at first, but then I learned that every adventure has a price. See, every Tuesday and Sunday they make us exercise to power us up and get our biceps and triceps to plop out; not excessively, but it’s still extremely exhausting.

And guess what.

Literature: 100
Biology: 82.5
Hermetic Science: 90

That oughtta wrap it up. I like February. And I’m going on a survival camp next week.

I need to go.

Cheerio!

Living someone elses’s life.

Every time I click that New Post button and this page appears, I can’t ignore the fact that my heart thumps faster than it should be. I guess it’s because I have no idea what to write, but if I don’t it’s like I’m abandoning this blog and ~let you guys down~, or I’m afraid that I’m going to post something sucky.

Well, what the hell.

So yeah, I guess that part II of YLSS is gonna have to wait. Aside from the lack of willingness to write about that subject from the source, I’ve sorta forgotten what I did most of the time there. But it was swell, really swell.

By the way, that’s not what I’m here for. I ain’t gonna tell ya about Australia this afternoon, or what I did there, or if I punched a roo in the face, which I didn’t.

It was this dream I had last night. It was, well… just a dream, but in my whole life I had never dreamed of someone else. Y aknow when you dream and the main character’s always you? Maybe some of you have experienced this before, but this is my first time, and it was… well, sorta cool. It’s like living someone else’s life, but in my dream this character I was in wasn’t leading a good one.

I was a boy. A little one, not a teen one, probably 8 or 7 years of age. From what I recall, and I don’t really recall much, he had a greasy black hair, short and a little bit curly. He had sad eyes, and was walking down a street in this desolated town near a dock when something bad happened.

So it was like reliving this kid’s nightmare of a past. First scene I saw was his mother dying after giving birth to him. In the delivery room they had this machine to help mothers give birth easier. The birth went down okay, but then some cables got screwed up and this machine went kabonga, and the mother, still attached to the machine, got electrocuted. The baby had already been taken down to the nursery room or whatever it is you call that room where they keep new born babies in. Then the dad came, and the nurse told him that some freak accident had occured, and the mother is dying. The dad grasped his hair in desperation, and forced to go into the delivery room, but it was too late. The mom died. So he took the baby home with him, and raised him until he grew u to be the boy I was in.

So they were walking down this street, when suddenly 3 men appeared outta nowhere behind them. I, or the boy, and my dad turned our heads, and suddenly he grabbed and started running down the street, the 3 men chasing us from behind on some sort of hoverscooter. We went pass a DVD rental store and a computer repair shop with Japanese posters peeling off on the glass door. He took me to a subway station, and opened this door that lead to the other side of the town. A ghetto, it seemed. There were brick apartments with broken windows and patched up cloth for curtains. He released my hand, kissed me on the forehead, and told me to enter a door, but I didn’t. He then ran outta the ghetto, where I slowly followed him and saw him getting into a Jeep and drove as fast as he could. I have no idea how, but somehow I caught up to him and saw him and his car facing the three men. I hid behind a trampled off oil drum, rusted and covered with random graffiti. As I peeped behind it, I realized I was crying. Well, maybe not me, it was the boy, but I actually felt tears racing down my cheeks. My dad was standing tall, already out of his car, facing the three men in suits. The leader, the one who was still on his hoverscooter, was wearing shades. He expelted a laugh and grinned, and then all of a sudden a yellow light blasted through the air, hurting my eyes. It was silent as a graveyard, but I could tell that they had blown off my dad and his car. I crouched behind the drum, feeling slightly hot, shivering.

You have no idea how this scene hurt the boy. I could feel it, as if I was both the boy and the narator, as if I was really there, a part of the whole story. He had no mom, his dad had been the only epicenter of his life, and now he had lost that too. In my dream the boy hadn’t spent that long with his dad, but he loved him so much, and he looked up to him. The bomb melted those moments away, sending them off like dust. He was in a state of both shock and pain.

After several moments, I lifted my head up, and saw fire hurdling around where my dad stood earlier and his car. I just stared, dumbfounded. You don’t see that kind of thing everyday, but once you do, and you know you can do nothing about it, you freeze. Just freeze. Those hour hands in your watch don’t move anymore. They’re just like you. They freeze.

From amidst the fire, 3 figures began to take shape. The men. The ones who had killed my dad. Rage began to take over, but in the same time I knew I couldn’t defeat them at once. And as the leader took a glance at me and raised hi hand, I rose up and ran awayas quickly as possible. It was hard not to look back, but I didn’t and I accelerated as the men trailed me in their hoverscooters. I bolted through alleyways, roads, streetlights, until I reached the ghetto where I was left and entered the door I was told to enter. I saw an old lady, and I quickly figured that she was my grandma. I grabbed her hand and rushed to the dock. There was no one there, only me and my granbdma and the brown ocean water. I dug my head for ideas, but none came up.

At this point I was like, “Oh sht they’re behind me!” I had to do something to save us, and as the men approached, I did the only thing I had had in my mind.

I jumped to he water, and as it swallowed me, my body transphormed and I was a fish.

Actually, we were both fish, but seriously?

FISH.

Then night came. I left my grandma by the dock, and walked back to the scene where my dad had been murdered. The pain strck like lightning, and that’s the scary part of it. I didn’t even know this guy who had been blown up by some high class gang, but I felt so, so sorry for him. For his life, for his unconditional love toward his only son, for this now orphan little boy of only 8 or 7 that I was in. I felt responsible for the boy, for continuing his life, for taking care of the grandma. The kiss he had left on the boy’s forehead remained, and the thing is, it was also me he had kissed. I felt his love, and now the source of it is gone. It was so sad I almost choke.

I had to continuously remind myself it was a dream, but I kept thinking if it was real. What if, somewhere in this world, regardless of the obviously fictional hoverscooters and brith machine, a boy had lost his dad in a gangfight and now has the urge to avenger? He’s 8, but he already understood what it was to live a frightful life, being hunted by a family enemy that’s practically a legacy.

Someday, the boy will be the one holding the gun. And I kind of hope I’ll be in him when the time comes.

_______________________________________________________

WOW THAT WAS EMOTIONAL.

I’m tellin ya, I didn’t make that up. It was a long ass dream, I know, but it happened, and it is as it is. Honestly, one of my fav dreams ever.

And I haven’t showered yet. Also, I’ve got alchemy test tomorrow and I haven’t even studied yet.

I guess you can easily tell that high school’s driving me nuts.

I Promise You The Truth

HEEEEEYYYYY GUUUYYYYSSSS. How’s it been eh? I am seriously sorry for not updating after such a long time, school’s been a bummer.

But then again, it always has.

So….hmff. Nothing special lately, just a couple of braindraining exams and getting a laptop and TRINITY COLLEGE YOUNG LEADERS SUMMER SCHOOL 2010.

It was honestly and truthfully one of the most amazing experiences in my life, to be in Australia for two whole weeks on my own and being with all the new people from around the world whom I hadn’t known existed before.  Sure, no magic and boiling potion pots or flying beasts, but I got along with it. Everything about them was wonderful.

It all started (I’ll try not to be a sassy-puss bedtime story teller here) a month ago. My school was on a survival camp somewhere in Norway for 10 days where we were divided into groups and had to do and expedition to reach a particular point in that somewhat vast area, and we had to go through posts and stuff where we would get challenges and solve them as a team. Those, and not to mention the weather and the animals (wolves I get, it was the dragons that got my hair rising. I mean, seriously, I’ve been a dragon my whole life and seeing those guys were like seeing your relatives as huge, winged, uncontrollable fire-breathers. They were humongous. At one point I had to fly my friends to a safer place because a female thought we were perfect for her egg’s future dinner.) And after the last day of the expedition, we were taken to a small old fashioned inn where they gave each of us a big mug of ginger beer and a tiny room on the second floor (which appeared to have a universe of its own, because I spent two nights there and I didn’t see any staircase that should lead upstairs and I wondered how my school got all my schoolmates. Grade 10 only, but still, there were like, 300 or so of us) and it had a homey atmosphere about it. It felt so much like Indonesia for some reason <3

So after over a week of walking and flying and transforming and flying and all that, we were so worn out we finished the ginger beer in 3 big gulps and went straight to bed.  I, for one, slept for nearly 20 hours, and all those exhaustion were paid off. The next day, I was taking a nap when at 5 pm Camilla woke me up and told me that a senior was waiting for me downstairs at the bar. So I went, and she said,

“Hey you’re Zahra, right? The kid that sent an essay to Trinity?”

and I was like, “Yeah.”

“You won second prize! I went to the award ceremony yesterday. Your parents have been notified. You’re going to Australia in December.”

and I was like,

SAY WHAT.

SECOND FRICKIN PRIZE.

I DIDN’T EVEN THINK THEY WOULD GLANCE AT THE THING.

I did a jiggy after she left. It was fun. And my friends were like, “Remember Z, koala key chains. And pencils.”

I set sail on December 3rd, costing me 3 days of the end of term exam. My excited grandma was there, so was my aunt as well as my whole family. My aunt, who works for Kuwait Airways, escorted me until I boarded. And because it was my first time flying solo, I got a little nervouse, and blurted to the baggage lady that I wanted a window seat because my dad kept telling that I f i want a window seat I should tell her so but I ended up kinda yelling that at her even before I gave her the passport and she was like,

I got the tomato face right after.

On the plane I fiddled with my laptop, read books, slept, and ate steak. When I arrived my cousin Aqila and her dad were already there, and I went to this shopping precinct which I forgot the name (I don’t think they call it a ‘mall’ there, it’s ‘shopping precinct’) and Om Doy, Aqila’s dad, tried to get me an Aussie number but Samsung was being a PAIN IN THE BUTT AND CLERK TRIED TWICE AND FAILED SO MY UNCLE DEMANDED HIS MONEY BACK.

TROLOLOLOL I UNDELIBERATELY PRESSED THE CAPSLOCK.

Oh, and there was this bargain bookstore that sells a big book of vikings for only 7 dollars. No, I didn’t go for it. My wallet was in the car, and I didn’t want my uncle to pay for it because covering my expenses is pretty much what he likes to do.

Then we shopped for supplies and I got a bag of Licorice Shots, which was delicious and became my best friend for the next couple of days, and we had a small slumber party at night, just the three of us. The next day we all went to the college, which looks like this.

So we went to the reception, the lady, named Sue, gave me some docs and an XXS shirt, and I waved byebye and wen to my room. It was good, actually. My roommate’s name’s Claire Griggs, and she didn’t show up until around 3 pm, so I just sat there and ate Licorice Shots. Then we had Mini Olympics, which was basically just running around and splashing water and all those kinda stuff we do to get points. And there were smarties. And there was this girl named Allara who gave people smarties all day long and I ended up getting a cup full of ‘em. We had dinner at the lawn, Mexican-themed barbeque kinda things, and most of us wore sombreros. I regretted not buying a fake mustache.

Day one was good.

The second was of lectures and activities. There was this one particular activity where we were told to make paper masks and wear them, and the goal is to neutralize our identity. And Ms Faye Bendrups commanded us some stuff and some of us ended up bumping against each other. Flo, on the other hand, amused us by trying to shake the mask back to its original position so the eye holes would be on their right place, but she failed. And it was funny. Then we continued with Team Skilling with Jack Midgalek, filled with games, which were pretty cool. Then we had dinner, afterward there was TRIVIA NIGHT. And it so much fun, there was this category where they played Thunderstruck and all the other kids had no idea what it was while I jumped on my seat, screaming in a whisper to my group, “THAT’S THUNDERSTRUCK! AC/DC! THUNDERSTRUCK!!!” That was the rock part of the music category. I was basically clueless when we reached the R’nB part.

Hey, ya know what? This long ass post is getting long, and my sister’s demanding her turn, so I think I’ll stop now.

Yes, I am currently at home. It’s Christmas holiday, and although I don’t celebrate Christmas, a holiday after a ‘holiday’ is pretty cool.

I will continue this post in part 2, which will follow in a couple of hours, maybe. Why do you not put it in drafts and continue it later, you ask?

Because I’m a lazy sloth, and it’s my job to give you guys cliffhangers.

Okay. Goodbye for another 6 hours.

Btw, I bought 4 books and I’ve already finished 1 and a half. The 1 was Swerve by Phillip Gwynne, and it was C.O.O.L. Kinda fast paced, and I didn’t understand some of the terms in the book, but it was still a great story. I love how it flowed. I’ve always been a sucker for long-driving, hot cars kinda stuff :3

LOL ABRUPT BOOK REVIEW COMIN’ THROUGH.

I just realized I haven’t posted any of these things here, so I’ll start.

GRYFFINDOR:

[x] You’ve never done illegal drugs.
[x] You have a lot of friends.
[] You get along with everyone.
[] You haven’t made fun of someone for at least two months.
[] You love soccer.
[] You love baseball.
[x] You’re into writing and art.
[] Favorite music genre is pop rock.
[x] You believe in “innocent until proven guilty” theory.
[x] Abortion is wrong.
[] One of your favorite colors is red or gold.
[x] Good grades at school.
[] One of the worst things you can do is lie.
[x] You plan on going to college/university.
TOTAL: 6

HUFFLEPUFF:
[x] You’re content with mostly everything in your life right now.
[x] You laugh a lot.
[] You like to follow trends.
[x] Politics suck.
[] You love to swim.
[] Water polo is awesome.
[] Pink is one of your favorite colors.
[] Black is morbid and depressing, still like it though.
[] Michael Jackson is talented as a musical artist.
[x] You’re an optimist.
[x] You’re completely straight-edge.
[] Rap, R&B, & hip-hop is your favorite music genre.
[] You’re very emotional.
[] You don’t believe in going steady at a young age.
TOTAL: 5

RAVENCLAW:
[x] You’re depressed to a certain extent.
[x] You love to read.
[x] You appreciate theatre and arts.
[] Sports suck.
[] You’re shy.
[] Hate is completely unneeded.
[x] Loyalty is the MOST important thing in a relationship.
[] Indie is your favorite genre of music.
[x] Every once in awhile you have little anger outbursts.
[x] Lying is sometimes okay.
[x] Blue is one of your favorite colors.
[] Serious is better than funny.
TOTAL: 7

SLYTHERIN:
[x] There’s at least one person you hate.
[] Basketball is a good sport.
[x] (American) Football is amazing.
[x] Black is a cool color.
[x] You’ve lied about something serious.
[x] You’re a deep person.
[] You have considered suicide.
[x] Very loyal.
[x] Your like metal.
[x] They make school seem more important than it is.
[x] You’re scared to grow up.
[] Anger is one of your primary feelings.
[] You have trust issues.
[] Guilty until proven innocent

TOTAL: 9

WHAAAAAAAAATTT.

I thought I was a Ravenclaw.

Stupid online quizzes.

A Dilema.

So it’s like this.

Some weeks back I rented Friday Night Lights. You know, that football movie about the Permian Panthers?

(Garrett Hedlund’s existence was the main reason I rented it. But seriously, it was really good).

And from that moment forth I continued to get a tad bit ecstatic when there’s an NFL game on ASN or ESPN. And the interest continues hereupon. Then one day, ESPN vanished.

I mean like, blank. Just like that. I use cable TV, and there’s a list of channels tio pick when you press the button on the remote, but when I pressed ESPN, it told me to contact my subscriber or sumthin. I thought, “Oh screw you ESPN, ASN’s got more football than you. “

But then it zapped me.

ASN only puts on replays and not live games. ESPN is the only sports channel I know that broadcasts the Superbowl.

One of the greatest FFFFFUUUUUUU moments of my life.

Let’s see how far we’ve come.

Tonight is my second night without Kyu. To be honest, I hadn’t even seen her that much even before her death, maybe because I had to much in mind, but her death changed the atmosphere a little more than I had expected.

Yea right, now enough dramas.

So… considering I had not intention to say anything, and I didn’t know what to do when I clicked that new post button, I thought I’d just do a recap of… well, me. My life, and stuff that were there along the way. Ya know, just so you get to know me more.

Wait, lemme put up a matching song.

And as we all play parts of tomorrow,
Some ways we’ll work and other ways we’ll play.
But I know we can’t all stay here forever,
So I want to write my words on the face of today

NOW LEZ BEGIN.

1995.

I was born on June 6th, as you may have known.  2, something kg. Porcelain white, slant-eyed (like, really slant-eyed -_-) and chubby. My mom said I looked like an Indonesian badminton player, whom I forgot the name. Sorry for the absence of picture on this period, my mom stacked them in an album and its useless to take a pic of it because they’re all blurry…

1997.

This is where I first showed some personalities. I was a rough little bugger, runnin’ here and there carrying a trash basket (yes, a trash basket) and a broom and just cleansweep ANYTHING. I chummed a few dolls and film roll tubes and literally chewed a splinter and made a red waterfall outta my little mouth. I guess my parent already got an idea of what I was going to grow up to be.

But OMG look how adorable I wuz :3

1999.

I WAS A CREEPER. When my aunt’s boyfriends came by I’d stare at them both and just roll on the floor singing kiddy songs and seek for the attention I knew I would get and irritate the hell out my poor aunt. And then my grandma would take me to Kelapa Gading market with her and bought me tiny fruit-shaped soy cakes and bubble balloons in tubes with blowing straws. Then my sister arrived. And suddenly I got kicked outta my mom’s bedroom, no more milk in bottles, and playing with her ear flaps before bed. But I had no idea what fun I would get only 5 years after

2004.

GQMF PIC RIGHT THERE. The beginning of an ongoing self liberation, 4th grade was a hell of a period. It was the year I discovered my inner lad. I fought boys a lot that year, had me first crush, got into a circle of friends, and started noticing that there were certain kids who are just above the level of a normal popularity rate for 4th graders. I was a fan of Recess, Rocket Powers, and That’s So Raven. I was a fair rollerblader, a rookie in the music fandom, because that year my mom introduced me my first band, Linkin Park. Crawling was my first ever rock song, and it made me happy and dad otherwise. I started taking interest in making minions of my younger siblings. Nothing was more enjoyable for me back then.

2007.

That year I left my elementary school friends and moved on to junior high, as in, being enrolled in FHS. On the year end celebration, we sang in a choir, and my friends were all busy discussing what to do in junior high. I was the baby of the class, the most childlike among my classmates, so I didn’t really get the whole point of it. I thought it was only going to be for a while, so I hdidn’t put my mind to it, and moved on ignorantly to FHS. But I still keep in touch with the buds there, who are really nice.  Aaaand that was the first time I was really allowed to fly. They said I could, so I did. Everyday. And no one protested.

2008.

HELLO TRUE SELF. Here I found my true identity, started being a teenager, and accepted those hormone fluxes. I gained friends (actually…I did nothing. They kinda just, ya know, appeared outta nowhere o_O) and had unnatural thoughts of them. Became a fan of various stuff,  MCR, SF ~~, etc.  And a new crush. OH HELL YES THIS YEAR WUZ AWESOME. I don’t have to explain much because I’ve already written most of it on here and I kinda ran outta stuff to write, sooo…

LOL I’m so lame…

2010.

Here is where I am right now. An artwizard apprentice, a dreamer, stargazer, nosepicker, all-around ordinary wingborne. My wings have fully grown, and I’m still trying to find something worth fighting for. This quest, I hope, will take me around the world, and I’m planning to get up and get it done with, and enjoy the ride and bumps along the way. My dear, high school :’D I can’t believe after all that I’ve come up to this point where I feel like an adult. But the thing is, some part of me still refuses to coupe with the fact that I’m now expected to act my age. It’s my inner Peter Pan I guess -______- he’s still trying to relieve himself. But that will go with time. I’ll see what awesome things I’ll come up with in 10 years

This is Sita Zahra Matarani, singing out.

i totally just died :>

Because it’s nearing September, and I haven’t posted a THING.

See, when I look at my dashboard, and moving my cursor toward the Add New Post button, I keep thinking, “What am I going to post?”

So it was the ‘what’ the held me from updating this whole time. Blame my new friend What.

So eh…new school term?

IZ BEEN FANTASTIC.

Been really really busy, though. Twice the amount of homeworks, essays, group projects O_O I’m like, LET’S JUST GET IT DONE NOW KAY GAIS. A month in high school and I’ve lost 2 kilos. The heck? The good thing is, my hips look smaller. So it’s safe to wear-

HOLY SH- MY RABBIT JUST DIED.

…………

this…could not be happening…

THIS IS-

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

WHY NOW, KYU, WHY NOW?????

She’s been living with me for 4 years :”"”"”"”"( WHY NOOOOWW???

I think I need to go give her….I dunno. Something, like a proper burial.

I can’t stand this.